More 4th grade humor

Question:

In what ways was Jerffrey Magee's life traumatic?

Brandon's answer:

Jeffrey Magee's life was traumatic because his parents died when he was 3 and he became an orphan. He also had to go live with his aunt Dot and uncle Dan who were very strict. Also, he had to go to school.

A funny journal entry

I found this entry in Brandon's school journal. It's not dated, but it's from at least three spelling-tests ago, so I'm guessing it's circa (roughly) the-last-week-of-October. The writing prompt was "What makes a good friend?"

Brandon writes:

Ismail is my best friend. We play capture the flag together and when Ismail or me are team captains, we choose each other first. So far, we've been team captains twice. The first time the score was 2-3, so we won. But last time it was 4-1, so we lost.

Me and Ismail also play soccer and football. Sometimes we even play made-up games, such as get the ball in the hoop, or maybe even one-legged race. He almost always helps me win and I help him. He's also honest and loyal. I haven't figured out if he's trustworthy, so I'll ask him.

10-year old quote of the day

Brandon: Mom, why are you wearing Dad's green shirt?

Mom: I can't find my pajama shirt, so I'm borrowing one of Dad's T-shirts.

Brandon: Oh. You actually do look kind of like Dad in that shirt. Except. . . you should be on the couch playing your Perfect World video game and watching foolishness [TV]. . .instead of sitting here talking to me.

--------------------------

I laughed harder than I have in a long, long time.

7-year-old quote of the day:

When asked about phonogram dictation:

(and the words alone can't do justice to the way it rolled off his tongue)

"She told me it all and I done it."

It's such perfect description of dictation - from a first-grader's standpoint, and he minced no words. I just had to laugh.

More things that make me smile. . .

You'd probably have to be a fellow Star Trek fan to fully appreciate these two clips. . . but here they are. Before there was any such thing as YouTube, these were filed away in my head -- and the recollection always made me smile. Both are from TNG episode Qpid.

10 Year Old Quote of the Day:

Picture this:

Brandon's Mom and Dad working together to figure out answers to the hardest homework we've seen to date. Riddle-type homophone questions that might even stump a senior well-prepped for the SAT. For example: "to destroy light beams" Answer: raze rays . . .Or: "what is a terrible container made of glass?" Answer: vile vial . . .How about "an underage digger?"

Sheesh.

Anyway, Brandon is writing away on his newest gaming guide while Karlon and I work on these things for well over a half-hour. Every now and then I hand Brandon the paper and he writes the two words - spelled out for him, letter-for-letter, even -- and gives it back. As he was handing it back to me about the fifteenth time, he says, absently (and maybe you had to be there):

"This is why I don't like hard work."

7-year-old quote of the day:

"That's the smell of Excuse Me"

I'm on vacation!

I'm loving this afternoon school thing. The kids switched from the AM session (7:45AM - 11:50AM) to the PM session (12:05PM - 4:10PM) and so far it's working out much better.

First of all, I'm not a morning person at all. In fact, I try to avoid communicating important information before 10:30AM. (Perhaps if I went to bed at a more reasonable hour, I might be more with-it in the mornings, but I never can seem to do it).

It's like our entire day is just shifted in a favorable direction by a few hours. The kids woke up whenever they felt like it today, and so did I. . . We had a leisurely morning and I took them to school.

Secondly, dropping off at noon is so much better than picking up at the same time. Literally the entire student K - 12th student body, mom's, dad's (and even dogs in some cases) are trying to navigate through one giant gridlocked traffic jam since AM *pick-up* and PM *drop-off* are happening at exactly the same time. In years previous, I was stuck in the traffic, worrying about my kids while they were waiting what seemed like a mile away down in the hot, dusty chaotic circle drive as I strained to get a glimpse of them through the crowds and held my breath and prayed, prayed, prayed for their safety. But now, during all the chaos, they're safely in the car with me, and I drop them off practically at their classroom doors. . . .Then at pick-up time in the afternoon, there's no rush because only the PM moms and students are on campus and everybody's done for the day.

Thirdly, at noon, restaurants are open! I get to have lunch with Karlon every Monday. And Stores are open too! I get to go shopping! (Not that I had much time to play with last year anyway what with all the runs back and forth to Cedar Park for Kindergarten drop-off and pick-up), but no store worth going to is open before 10AM, and by that time, I'd be so worried about watching the clock to make sure I was sitting in the circle-drive by 11:25 or so, that the risk totally outweighed any possible benefit save the rare event I knew exactly what I wanted and where I could find it.

I'm wide awake by noon and can be all kinds of productive. . . .the kids can stay up late guilt-free. I feel like I'm on vacation! Of course, it helps considerably that this is the first year ever that I'm making only ONE drop-off and ONE pick-up to a single campus.

Surprisingly, after all of that, I do have some mixed feelings about my "baby" going to first grade (but that's a blog entry for another time). Sad feelings aside, Jon's teacher is the absolute Mary Poppins of teaching and taught Brandon Language Arts last year, a literacy rotation the year before and writing and spelling the year before that. So of all the mom's who have to drop their precious babies off without being allowed to walk them into the classroom (new policy this year), I'm probably the most comfortable one in the whole bunch!

10-year old quote of the day

At open house night for school Mrs. Cherry, the mom of one of Brandon's classmates asks him, "So, Brandon, how was your summer?"

Brandon's reply:

"Do you know where the snacks are?"

Lessons in common courtesy are now top priority, kicking longtime front-runner, the three R's, down to number 2.

Things I've Skipped

In the interest of time, I have skipped the following things that are ordinarily non-negotiable during The Great Transformation. It bothers me a little, but I'm sure I can forget about it if I just keep moving forward.

1. Cleaning inside and re-organizing all of the kitchen cabinets

2. washing everything on the kitchen counter tops with a sponge and a sink of soapy water. (Instead, I used clorox wipes and paper towels).

3. Washing windows in the family room -- they're covered 99.9999% of the time with roller shades anyway.

4. I did not use q-tips to clean corners - it'll have to wait until next time.

5. I did not dust every cranny of every nick-knack with q-tips, but I dusted as thoroughly as I possibly could with a swiffer duster.

6. I dry-dusted the ceiling fan in the family room instead of taking it apart and washing the globes and blades with soap and water.

7. I haven't washed the slipcovers on the sofas (yet), and I might just try to forget about that too.

Speaking of which, I absolutely love this sofa:

Cindy Crawford Beachside Denim Sofa

Rooms to Go

Instead of a sofa and love seat, we bought two sofas so we could switch the pillows around and they'd get equally crushed (Karlon's idea -- and a very good one -- after two years they still look nice). It's basically a plain white sofa with a denim slipcover over it. Being denim, everyday soiling is disguised rather well, but if I ever get the notion, I can just unzip the covers to the cushions and pillows and throw them in the washer. Plus if the back pillows ever go flat, I can add my own batting to fluff them up. The description online says that it wears like a favorite pair of jeans, and I have to say that it really does. Even the worn areas seem to add character to the piece instead of actually looking worn. And hey, ripped jeans are coming back in vogue. We may not have to replace family room furniture for a very, very long time!

Final Scores Are Here!

Whaaaaaa-hooooooo!!!

Three hundred's and a 98! Semester averages 100, 100, 100 and 96!

I should note for the record that the language arts test was 23 pages long and included a written, 3-paragraph composition.

. . .A score of 98 is absolutely outstanding!

EXHALE!

Things that make me smile

Here's the first in a series of things that make me smile. This one never fails, regardless of mood. Even just the song has the same effect now. I downloaded it to my iPod and always smile - maybe even chuckle a little - every time I hear it.

Buried Treasure!

Well, not really. But it's always fun to anticipate what I might find during a cleaning extravaganza.

So far I've found:

one very dead, very dry, shriveled up lizard.

a baby pacifier (we called them "suckers." Ah, memories)

an unopened package of Coconut m&m's which I kindly shared.

a perfectly unopened can of Strawberry Crush which I hid in the fridge and have *zero* plans to kindly share.

**The perfect place for Stetson's water and food bowls. Why have I never (in almost 4 years!) thought of putting them out of the way, under the kitchen desk?

(added 7/27) an entire canister of coffee grounds we all forgot about. Had been stored there since last year's Great Transformation. Apparently I promptly forgot that I had reorganized them.

(added 8/4) MarioKart 64 for the DS! Jon was sure happy!

-----

I'm sure it'll get more interesting as I go along.

The kitchen is looking good. Fridge, windows, floors and baseboards are on the agenda for tomorrow ~ then the real trick will be figuring out how not to cook anything for the rest of the summer ;-)

Passing the time

Not that I don't have a ton of stuff to do, but I always feel like if I sit and wait in front of my computer, the scores will show up faster. I know this isn't true, so I've sent the kids upstairs while I listen to really loud music and clean house. This is a massive undertaking and should serve as a sufficient distraction.

(My faithful dog sits at my feet as I type even though the music is blaring in here).

"The way to let me know you want to volunteer is to come downstairs."

Every now and then somebody hangs their head over the railing and shouts a question about when am I going to be finished or can they have a snack, but no volunteers yet. Bummer.

So another day has gone by. Still inhaling and exhaling. . . The first two exams are marked "received." Probably the others won't be received until Monday . . .and the professor has five business days from "received" to grade them, so I can at least be grateful I probably won't have to wait through a second weekend for the scores.

Please reference last year's before and after pictures of the house and imagine it about twice as bad as it was then. If there's anything I love, though, it's a challenge I can throw my whole heart into. . . so this should be good.

. . .And so begins this summer's overture of The Great Transformation!

Summer is finally here (for Ashley and me)!

Due to a mix-up with the mailing of Ashley's exams. . . and also a VERY inconveniently timed trip to go pick up my truck from Oklahoma City, Ashley couldn't take her final exams until this week.

Her first two finals (Science and Social Studies) were on Monday, and I prayed that she would have joy and peace and confidence. . .and BOY were those prayers answered with crystal clarity! She was so happy she could hardly finish answering a question before she started telling another funny story to the proctor (who, BTW was AWESOME! A proper description with words escapes me, but I just couldn't have asked for a nicer, smarter, more caring teacher to give these exams. If you're local to Austin, look no further than PflugerTutor for educational support).

. . .Tuesday was the Math test and the composition portion of the Language Arts exam. . . we finished up today with the reading, grammar and spelling portions. Official scores will be posted online next week (inhale. . . exhale. . . inhale. . . exhale) but I believe she did well.

Anyway, other than worrying about the exams while they're in transit. . . and waiting, waiting, waiting for the final scores to be posted. . . WE'RE DONE! Wah-Hoo!!!

Happy summer everybody!

Father's Day

I've been moderately sick for the past several days. It started as a cold that I recovered from pretty quickly, but then it started to feel like it was turning into a sinus infection. I spent a few days feeling dizzy and massively "thick" in my head (thank goodness that's over!). I'd had something strange going on digestive-wise all this time, but comparatively it was nothing to complain about. . . until today. I've been eating saltines and drinking as little as possible (yes, I know this isn't what the AMA recommends, but I gotta go with my gut on this one).

I've spent a lot of time sleeping on the couch this week. Karlon worked downstairs most of the week and kept an eye and ear on the kids while he worked (I am loving this whole deal about having a husband who telecommutes and kids who are old enough to practically take care of themselves).

I was vaguely aware of floating back up into consciousness when I overheard Karlon ask Jon what he was watching in my office. He said he was watching a youtube video called Dum Bass Luigi. (all one word). This brought me to full consciousness. Then he said, "Next I'm going to watch Dum Bass Luigi 2 and there's also one called Dum Bass Mario." I'm so glad my little Kindergarten graduate wasn't aware of a certain silent B.

Of course I had to watch the video for myself to make sure there wasn't anything alarming to address. It was mostly harmless, especially for a single viewing. Definitely going on the banned video list, though.

So, does Karlon watch the kids as closely as I do? No. Men just weren't built with that kind of surveillance equipment. BUT, for being a man. . . he's quite good. He actually did intercept this video which had nothing but mario-type music for sound, -- without any visual clues -- AND with it being about thirty feet behind him.

And since it's only about two hours past Father's Day and since I seem to have something against going to bed at all any more, I'll just go ahead and say that Karlon is an excellent dad.

1. He's always here.

2. He has no temper.

3. He's always ready to help.

4. He knows a lot.

5. He's a good friend.

Ashley and I are studying generalizations for language arts. I guess those snippets above were my details. My generalization would be that everybody ought to have a dad like Karlon.

And I just can't go without writing about my own wonderful Dad. I'll never forget all the trips to the park, flying kites, road-trips, funny songs we made up about all kinds of things. . . hours and hours and hours of algebra with me at the desk and you standing in front of the white board.

Even now that I'm all grown-up, you're still, "my friend, daddy."

One week down

Okay, I could get used to this sleeping in thing. And I don't think I've left home since last Friday. It's been wonderful. It's sad when staying home for a whole week becomes a novelty.

Ashley isn't quite finished with her schoolwork for the year, so she and I are still working. Teaching only one kid. . . let me just say it literally feels like I have time to breathe!

We've done some interesting project-type things this week. There was a pretty broad hint in one of the study guides that Ashley will need to know how to interpret a library subject search on the final. Even as an adult, I looked at the information on the page and thought "Huh?" for a couple of the questions. I decided it would be easier for Ashley to know where to find the information if she was the one who put it there in the first place, so we made our own card catalog / subject search using books from our own home library. It's getting really lengthy now, and since we have to cut them out anyway to put them in ABC order, I thought it would be fun to tape them to the wall and have a huge subject-search wall from ceiling to floor.

One thing that's really been easy about teaching Ashley is that she thinks and retains information the same way I do. So I can tell her "colony . . .check out the base word and the prefix: CO LONE -- they're together, but alone. A settlement ruled by another country." And we're done with that one. Forever.

Anyway, having time to do the fun projects and be creative is just what I needed. It feels like summer camp (Ashley doesn't completely agree since her brothers have nothing better to do than to watch SpongeBob and play video games).

But we'll be finished soon. And then it'll be on to house-cleaning and painting and decorating! Can't wait!

Last day of school

The last day of school this year was so much nicer than the last day last year. I remember being so *done* and worn out and tired before. This time was better. Brandon's awards ceremony was this morning from 8 - 9:30. He did a great job singing two multiplication math-fact songs with his class and then he was presented an award for outstanding achievement in mathematics! He was so happy he couldn't wipe the smile off his face, and he actually got a little bit teary-eyed. I was a proud mom, too. I had warned him not to bounce down the aisle or run or otherwise act silly. . . but to walk across the stage like a mature almost-4th grader, shake his teacher's hand, smile for the camera and calmly walk back to his seat. He did great!

Even though Brandon's school year was over, I couldn't seem to realize it (but Brandon sure did!) because directly after dropping Brandon off at home, I took Jonathan to his last day of school. He was very late, and I just stayed with him for the rest of the day. I played a game of "Guess Who," with him and a game of "Connect Four," and was so completely impressed that he immediately, without any prompting, put both games away when we were finished. They had pizza and root beer floats for lunch and then went out to the playground. I'm glad I got to spend the day with him today. Due to the wacky pick-up time at the other school, I almost never got to eat lunch with him, or stay for parties or anything. It was really special. When it was all over, I had a good cry. For one of us, the pain was eclipsed by a trip to Toys R Us. . . and who should we bump into but Ms. Sarah, his preschool teacher from last year! She couldn't believe how Jon had grown. He told her all about his special award he'd gotten on Thursday (the big-heart award) and she said she remembered what a big heart he had. He beamed.

He had great fun playing with his toys on the way home, and I kept thinking how long I've been waiting for the day that I'd be done with driving back and forth to Cedar Park. . . but it was still sad. Peace Preschool is the *perfect* name for the place. Jon had a wonderful teacher this year and the group of kids he was with were all just absolutely top-notch. Every one of them. They all took care of each other and got along so well. They really became a family of friends. So it's sad that everyone is moving on to their neighborhood elementary schools. I wish they could all move up as a class together from year to year forever.

When we finally drove into the driveway, it still didn't seem like summer. It doesn't seem like summer now. It might not even seem like summer on Monday. Or the Monday after.

But that's not going to stop me from sleeping in!

Flying High

Brandon passed the TAKS test with flying colors! Exact scores will be available on Friday but he earned a *commended* score in both reading and math!!!

We're flying high today!

Down to one week and counting!

Wahoo! School is almost over! Jon's last day is Thursday and Brandon's is Friday. Ashley's finals are in a couple of weeks and then we're done!

I was really worried that Jon would be heart-broken over school being over because he loves it so much, but he said last Wednesday on the way, "Mom, I'm tired of going to school. The only things I like any more are Math and Ms. Julie." It's just time.

Brandon has a fun week ahead. They're doing a read-in / game day tomorrow and Wednesday. There are two field trips and an awards ceremony on Friday. . . then he's done. TAKS scores should be in by the middle of the week. Continuing to inhale. . . . exhale. . . . inhale. . . exhale. Waiting is no fun!

I have loved every single moment of working with Ashley this year. She's always been our low-maintenance kid. It's like she was born knowing the right way to do things and just has never needed any guidance. Since she's sandwiched between two brothers who need guidance on a pretty regular basis, she's sort of always been on the back burner. . . .So spending several hours a day with her has been really special.

Happy Birthday to Jon

Jonathan had such a happy seventh birthday today. He is such a blessing. I've tried to describe just what a "special order" I think Jon was for us, but the words can't do proper justice to my feelings on that. He's extra-cute, extra-cuddly, extra-funny. The whole package. He's just perfect for us.

Thank you, God for Jonathan.

Funny Jon

Last night, the only clean shirt available after Jon got out of the bathtub was a purple 101 Dalmatians puppy shirt that says, "I need a hug." I told him I thought it would be fine and that he was just going to bed and that nobody would see it in the dark -- the other clothes were in the dryer and he could change in the morning.

He came downstairs this morning and peeked around the railing.

"Mom.," he said, " I actually like two different colors of purple -- both darker than this. I also like many different types of dogs, especially brown ones. Brown, boyish ones. And I do also like these types of dogs, but only the real kind and not on shirts."

He went on to say some more about it, the gist of which being that the purple dalmatian shirt wasn't really his choice and that he happened to be wearing it due to some unusual circumstances. . .and please not to laugh at him. But unfortunately it was really early in the morning (have I ever mentioned that mornings aren't my thing?) and I can't remember the rest verbatim any more. I promise it was equally funny, though.

The rest of us are a pretty quiet bunch, so Jon's dry, matter-of-fact speeches really add a nice element to family life -- like little splashes of color here and there.

Ready for Summer

I'm sitting here waiting for the laundry to be finished, and thinking of all the wonderful things I could do over the summer. I've got the itch to do something creative and crafty.

It'll have to wait about 30 more days, because for now, my day looks something like this:

6:15 -- wake up, issue Brandon's wake-up call (again and again). Make sure he stays on schedule for the next 45 minutes while giving one of a few standard lectures here and there about putting forth ones best effort or paying attention in class. . . or sometimes about *not* doing various things.

7:23 -- Karlon makes the first run for me while I get myself and Jon dressed. I leave with Jon around 8:30 to get him to school between 9am and 9:15. Turn back around and come home on M, TH and Fri (or sort papers at Brandon's school until 11:50 T and W).

Meanwhile, Ashley has morning work laid out for her and works on that while I'm gone. Karlon is extremely helpful in that he listens to some of her reading minutes and helps to explain difficult ideas and vocabulary words if necessary.

11: 20 -- arrive at school parking lot to get a good, up-front space in the circle for pick-up (otherwise, get stuck in the parking lot for a half-hour). Pick up Brandon along with Ashley's best friend Eliana (for carpool). Arrive back home 12:20-ish, drop Brandon off with instructions for getting started on homework, turn directly around and drive to Cedar Park to retrieve Jon. Arrive back home around 1:30pm.

At this point, I stop keeping track of time, and there never, ever seems to be enough of it. Lunch for 4 people (Jon ate at school), homework, flash cards, reading minutes with Brandon. Writing and spelling with Ashley, which is an extremely involved multi-sensory program but worth every ounce of effort. . . reading and homework with Jonathan. . . dinner. Math, science and social studies with Ashley. . . then more reading minutes on top of all of that.

Ashley finishes up and goes to bed maybe between 10:30 or 11pm. Then I have to do the next day's lesson planning which takes between 30 and 45 minutes. Then I lay out clothes, pack backpacks, snacks, and Jon's lunch.

Although I know I should go to bed at this point because it's always between 1 and 1:30, I seem to not be able to do so without some time to just rest my mind for a little while. Read a book or look at a magazine. Surf ebay. Blog.

So my thoughts have turned to what I'd like to do with my summer once it gets here. I feel like I want to clean out drawers. . . or paint something. It's a restless, spring-feverish kind of feeling. Almost giddy readiness for summer. But it'll have to wait another 30 days.

Looking over some of my entries from last year, I can remember how worn and tired I was. It's not like that this year, even though clearly I'm stretched far thinner than I was before. I feel like I've put in a year's worth of good, quality blood, sweat and tears and I can be proud of my work. When summer does finally get here, it will be a happy celebration of a complete, well-written chapter closed and neatly tied (but always available for reference).

Next year will be so much easier! Jon graduates to first grade and will be on the same campus as Brandon. I'm still not sure what's going to happen with Ashley (she is first on the waiting list since she's a sibling of a currently enrolled student), but either way, it will definitely be easier without 2 round-trips to Cedar Park and back every day.

The world of elementary education is my whole life right now. (I imagine reading about it must be about as exciting as watching somebody else's Grand Canyon slide-show). BUT. . . just 33 more days and I'll be filling the pages here with all sorts of interesting summertime adventures!

Correction (it's now after midnight) -- 32 more days and counting! Wahoo!

this and that

While working in the schoolroom, Ashley and I usually tune everything out. The boys in our house have quite active and developed imaginations. They both walk around playing with action figures and toys - usually independent of one another - while Ashley and I work together in the afternoons. It mostly only registers as background noise, but Jon said something so completely boyish the other day:

"Airship to castle! Airship to castle! Mayday, Mayday!"

We both looked up from what we were doing and chuckled at the total boyishness of what he said, but also at our shared amusement. It was one of those rare mother/daughter moments when we looked up at each other from across the table at the same time - like a mirror image of each other - and knew our thoughts were exactly the same, too. I hope we have a lot more moments like that over the years. I know she's only 8, but she's a good friend already.

She wrote a funny journal entry this week. The assignment was to write about a time she had solved a problem. She wrote:

"Once I couldn't think of anything to write. First I went to go see my dad. I didn't understand him, so I asked mom when she got home. Then I finally understood. Mom said I could write about the problem of not knowing what to write. Now I'm finished and my problem is solved!"

But honestly, some of these writing prompts really do leave even an adult thinking, "Huh. . .?"

The countdown to the TAKS is on, and Brandon and I are doing one practice test per day until next Tuesday (math) and Wednesday (reading). I'm not looking forward to waiting around for the results - it'll be about a month. . . .Inhale. . . Exhale. . . Inhale. . . Exhale. . . .for like the next thirty days!

It's Friday!

Actually, it's the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. Everyone in the house is asleep but me. It's quiet and peaceful. I'm straining to think of anything interesting to write about besides school.

Ahhh. I know.

Today I ran out of gas for the first time in my life. I knew the "you need gas" light was on, but it didn't seem like it had been on for that long. Very, very fortunately, it was a picture-perfect, gorgeous day and we stalled right next to a very nice playground within walking distance of home. Brandon was with me at the time and he had a lot of fun while we waited for AAA.

The place had formerly been one of those all-wooden fort-type playgrounds that were popular in the late 80's and early/mid '90's, but for whatever reason, the HOA replaced it with something more modern. One thing I really liked were some very classic playground toys that had been added, like a crane/scooper that picks up pebbles and moves them from place to place using handle mechanisms. . . I hadn't seen one of those in years. It's funny how things go out of fashion and then are all of a sudden considered novel again after a while.

(okay, one thing about school, but only briefly: reading through the Little House books with the kids, we stumbled across an archaic word -boughten - meaning an object that had been purchased from a store instead of having been made by hand -- "a boughten broom." *Everything* is purchased from somewhere these days -- and now the novelty is if something is hand-made).

Anyway, Brandon had a lot of fun with the scooper toy. Another thing I love about that playground (that I'm so glad they didn't change) is the swing set. It's got wonderful, deep bucket seats that are high enough for an adult to swing on comfortably. It's nice and tall, and when you swing, you go really high and touch the tips of the tree branches with your toes.

It was a fun, carefree thirty minutes that I most certainly would have said I didn't have time for if I'd been given the choice. Running out of gas in this case seemed more like a gift.

Farmer Boy complete!

Brandon finally finished Farmer Boy. He'd been chipping away at it steadily for about the last 8 weeks. . . but we bought him Diary of a Wimpy Kid and told him he couldn't start that one until he finished the one he was on. . . He read the rest of it (about 40 pages that would have otherwise taken a whole school-week) in a weekend and then directly - the *moment* he finished it picked up Diary of a Wimpy Kid and read the first 30 pages. (This is not nearly as impressive as it sounds since the font is pretty big and at least half of every page is covered with cartoon-like drawings).

But the funny thing is that Brandon couldn't bring himself to destroy Farmer Boy. I think like with Ashley, the book represented 8 weeks of hard work. An accomplishment. He gave it to me as a keepsake and said maybe I would want to remember the time he read Farmer Boy.

. . .And that's so totally like me. . . .to write something about how old he was and how long it took him to read in the cover (though that would be difficult in this case since the cover is long-gone), and keep it in my treasure box forever.

It's good he got the notion to finish the book because he'd been sick since last Wednesday and got behind on his reading minutes for school. I'll have to figure out how to explain to Mrs. Barnes why this kid who hates reading managed to read for nearly 5 hours over the weekend.

-----

Karlon was in the hospital with a bizarre case of cellulitis for a couple of days last week. It started with fever that just kept getting higher and higher. He was getting ready to go to the doctor (that's when you know he really, really feels bad) and saw in the mirror what he thought had been a bruise, but it was bright, fiery red. Strangely, there was no scratch or bug bite so it's a mystery how the infection started. He said he thought it must be something he picked up while doing all that hard work I'd made him . . .er, ever so gently suggested he. . . do in the back yard the weekend before. Great.

Anyway, he's back home now and things are practically back to normal. He'll be on some strong antibiotics for a while longer, but other than that, he's back to his old self again :)

Interesting Reward

Okay, I had to share this. Brandon *hates* reading, and we stumbled upon something interesting that actually seems to be motivating. He mentioned that he wished he could just rip the book up. I told him that after he reads the last page, I would let him destroy the book however he wanted to. He could rip it to pieces, or cut it up into bits. . . or crumple all the pages one by one. He started getting pretty creative with the way he'd like to destroy it and we agreed that Karlon would even help him burn it if that's what he wanted to do with it when he was done. He brightened at this and began his reading with fresh motivation. I never thought about it before, but it's a rather fitting reward for a kid who hates to read as much as he does. This time he happens to be reading a raggedy old very, very used paperback copy of Farmer Boy (the book has already split in two and the front and back covers are missing), so no worries about destroying this one. But from now on, I guess I'll have to make sure all the books he reads are old and tattered from the get-go.

Ashley, on the other hand, (although she also doesn't care for reading), considers every book a memento of major accomplishment and adds it to her personal library in her room when she's finished. . . so I always purchase the best of the best hard-cover books for her. The quality is good motivation for her.

. . .And I've discovered the wonderful world of "read-aloud edition" books. The pages are exactly the same, only blown up to 8.5 x 11 size. I'm collecting them one-by-one, as I find them.

And rewards. . . Jon likes rewards. He's a lazy reader. If it's not a sight-word, he coughs or falls down like he's too sleepy to read. I told him he would earn a point for every word he sounded out that wasn't a sight-word. That little stinker read for an hour - happily! . . .and earned 75 points. . . .and woke me up again in the morning wanting to read some more. (100 points gets a toy he's been wanting forever).

Well, it's back to work today. We eased back into the swing of things last week, but it's back business this week. We counted and Ashley only has 50 more days left! I don't think anybody is more ready for summer than me!

San Antonio

San Antonio was great fun! We stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the river. . . and were so totally lucky. Ours was one of about six rooms on the eleventh floor only that had a sliding glass door that opened to a balcony overlooking the river. We ate at the hotel restaurant one night and it was wonderful too. . . I had some kind of shellfish stew that was a cross between gumbo and tortilla soup. I brought the mussel shells home as a memento. There was an extraordinarily comfortable lounge area just outside the restaurant (I know this because we had to wait an hour for a table at breakfast the next morning), and just beyond the lounge were the doors that led to the river. There was a cute little island with a bridge that the kids really enjoyed. We walked up and down the river a ways and Ashely said it was her favorite part of the whole trip. The hotels were packed tight together and each one seemed to do something interesting with their section of the riverwalk. Ashley was intrigued by a cute little water fountain/fall. It rained *hard* the next morning and the poor river was filled with all kinds of trash from the run-off water. I was glad we took our walk the day before. Karlon made a funny joke about the boats on the river. I'd commented that I didn't like how packed the seats were on the boats. . . and that I didn't care to go riding shoulder-to-shoulder with some of those people. He said, "Bubba and Jolene come up to take a ride on the river." I'm still chuckling over it as I type.

And Ashley did get room service. She was totally thrilled! The kids watched Ice Age 3 and Alvin/Squeakquil while they ate in one of the bedrooms and I got roped into watching another end-of-the-world movie with Karlon. . . 2012. It's pretty much a ritual for him to rope me into watching one and start counting interjections. "yeah, right!" is my favorite. Remember Dante's Peak? I still can't quite wrap my mind around how the guy's tires didn't melt instantly while he was spinning his wheels on the hot lava. There were several such moments in this movie too. I guess it wouldn't have been much of a movie if it had ended ten minutes in, though.

Before we left town, we ate at Magic Time Machine. It was great. Tinker Belle was our waitress and she sprinkled pixie dust all over everything. The kids had never been there before and they all had a blast.

We got home around 3pm and that left me plenty of time to finish the cleaning project I started before we left. I now have a perfectly clean (not overhauled, mind you) downstairs. We won't talk about the upstairs in this post. Maybe another time.

Anyway, I feel rested and ready to take on the last eight weeks of school! Here we go!

more funny dialogue

Jon: Ah -AAAAhhhh!

Karlon: Brandon, please leave Jonathan alone.

[ten second time-lapse]

Jon: Ehhh!

Karlon: Brandon!

Brandon: I was trying to leave Jonathan alone.

(maybe you just had to be there)

We're off to San Antonio tomorrow. Ashley saw the riverwalk in one of her textbooks and was so interested in it, we decided to make a quick trip. Her other wish was to order room service. She's so funny.

the joys of third grade

The assignment was to write an advertisement for a new suburb and give two examples of how this new community meets people's need for safety and comfort.

Brandon writes:

BRANDONVILLE [I can't reproduce the video game-like block letters]

. . .a fun place to live. . .

Interested in no work and all play? Brandonville is the place for you! Located minutes from Austin so you can leave your work in the big city and come home to hours of fun. Brandonville offers shopping, restaurants and the safety of knowing that no matter where you live in our community, policemen and firemen are just around the corner. Come see why Brandonville is a fun place to live.

I cracked up. . . .because this is SO Brandon. Seriously, if he could create a community it would totally be no work and all play.

And here's another one:

He's supposed to write a thank-you note after a visit to a friend in a rural community comparing and contrasting where he lives with the farming community of Bridgewater, VA.

He writes:

Dear Amy,

It was fun to visit your community. I enjoyed all the trees and farm animals. Virginia is a long way from where I live in Texas, but both our communities have a river and love sports. It was good to get back to the big city, though. Homecooking is only good for so long before I get hungry for KFC or Popeye's.

Your friend,

Brandon

And then all the preparations for the TAKS. . . While discussing that you can always go back and read the story again if you don't remember the answer, he says, "But what if they ask me about summarizing? I'm terrible at summarizing!" I couldn't believe my ears. This from the kid who writes in answer to the question, Give details about where the community of Bridgewater, VA is located, -- "It's located kind of near the edge of the United States." The kid is absolutely marvelous at summarizing.. I pointed this out to him and underneath the sheepish expression, I saw the light bulb come on. The test is at the end of April, so we've got several more weeks of studying to do.

And the countdown is on -- just ten more weeks to summer!

A snippet of conversation

Mom asks Jon, "Jon, why was Ashley screaming at you upstairs?"

Jon says, "I don't know."

"Well," says mom, "You were up there, and she was screaming, 'Stop, Jon!' so you must know something about it."

"She was just pretending to scream to see what it sounded like," says Jon.

"Are you fabricating a story?" mom says, "because I'm about to find out for myself."

Jon replies rather comfortably, "No, I don't do that on Saturday's."

sitcomical family

Last night was so funny. I'm thinking maybe for some of the stuff you'd just have to be there, but I'll try to describe it anyway.

So Karlon and I were sitting at the kitchen table having a serious discussion. All three kids had been sent upstairs to sit quietly and watch a movie. . . and Ashley was appointed supervisor because if there's anything she loves more than being nosey, it's being in charge.

Ashley always does everything properly herself and wants everyone else to do it properly too. . . .But when they don't, the silver lining is that she gets to tattle.

Anyway, our conversation was interrupted every three or four minutes with a fully detailed description of what one or the other boys were doing and finally. . . "Brandon is being nice and good, but Jon is kicking Brandon in the head.

So we call Jonny downstairs and ask him what happened. He says, "Well, I was just laying on my tummy and my feet wanted to swing, but Bra'n's head was in the way."

We talk to him and send him back upstairs and in a few minutes Ashley comes back down and says that Brandon spat at her. (a raspberryish thing -- think Archie Bunker)

Brandon is summoned. Questioned why, he says, "I just wanted to have some fun."

We speak to him for a little while and send him back upstairs to behave himself. On his way up he shoves Ashley (who was eaves-dropping) and of course she comes the rest of the way downstairs to tattle.

We call Brandon back down. It's decided this time that he'll take his time-out in the back yard with Stetson who last weighed-in at 104 lbs. and would be more than happy to "have some fun" roughhousing with him.

Not long afterwards, Jonathan comes downstairs wondering what became of Brandon. We tell him that Brandon is spending his time-out on the back porch with Stetson (like three feet away from me on the other side of the french doors that lead to the back yard). Jon's face brightens and he proceeds to run back up the stairs shouting, "hey Ashley -- Good news!"

Within seconds, they both come running down the stairs and want to go outside with Brandon and Stetson.

We send them back up where they whine and complain about how come they never get to spend their time-outs out on the back porch.

Meanwhile, Brandon produces a ball of fluff from his pocket and stretches it into something vaguely shaped like a snake and then knocks on the window and says, "Hey guys -- I'm not really in time-out. See! [I've invented a toy]"

Brandon plays outside for a while and is allowed back in after promising to be a gentleman and not spit at his siblings. No sooner than he's up the stairs do Ashley and Jonathan come down tattling on each other so they may also spend time-outs on the back porch.

All this time, Stetson is having a blast. . . and we're hearing squeak, squeak, squeak (squeak, squeak, squeak) intermittently from his chew toy.

The real kicker is that we couldn't pay these kids (or the dog) just to go outside and play. . . I guess it's only fun if it's called time-out.

A happy day ~ teary and proud

My daughter just finished the last page of A. A. Milne's The House at Pooh Corner with beautiful fluency. The book is bound together with Winnie the Pooh and together the books total 384 pages. I'm so thankful that we dated the book the day we began -- November 3. Ashley truly thought she had been working on it for months longer.

I've always dearly loved the Pooh stories, but there was something really special about sharing the rich character and intricate detail with Ashley.

It turned out to be a treasury of really wonderful quality moments where we laughed over Eeyore's dry humor, Pooh's "thotful" ideas or Rabbit's fussiness. (I'll never tire of reading about Eeyore's birthday. . . and now I have peals of laughter from Ashley to tag to the memory). It may well have been the first "shared" mother-daughter moments we've ever had -- where we both appreciated and enjoyed a thing equally.

It just doesn't get any better than Pooh when it comes to children's literature. Charlotte's Web is a close second, followed by Ramona and Henry Huggins. Anne of Green Gables is way up there, too, but for a slightly older audience. But who knows? Sky's the limit with this homeschooling thing. Maybe in a week or two. . .

A funny dream

I've often thought that having a clone would help me get all my work done, but I had a really funny dream last night that made me realize how counter-productive it would actually be.

I am a perfectionist. My motto has forever been, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well. . . (unless, of course, there's not enough time to do it well . . .in which case don't bother.)"

I'd rather not do anything than do a half-way job of something. I have tried to just do the minimum before (or even just slightly better than average job of something) and it takes more energy to remind myself every fifteen seconds not to go all-out than it would to do the whole thing Sherilyn-style in the first place.

Anyway, this dream was so me. Double me, actually. I dreamed that I really did have a clone to help share the tremendous workload around here. She was my exact carbon-copy. . . identical in every way, and what did we do? Absolutely nothing except argue over who was going to do the work. . . because neither of us trusted the other to do it as well as I would.

No, I guess a clone wouldn't help me. In the end, I think there's a certain satisfaction that goes with having ownership of the completed task. . .and that's the part I didn't want to share.

----

things are busier than ever around here. I'm teaching Ashley at home in addition to the same drop-off and pick-up schedule from before. But I am absolutely loving every minute of teaching her.